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Le processus du Guet

Le processus standard pour un divorce juif devrait ressembler à ceci :

Étape 1.

Choisir un Beit Din

Étape 2.

Contacter le Beit Din pour déposer une demande de divorce

Étape 3.

Planifier une date pour la remise du Get

La remise du Guet

Donner/recevoir un Guet sans comprendre le rituel peut être intimidant. Voici à quoi ressemble le processus et ce à quoi vous attendre. 


Le Beit Din vous contactera préalablement pour recueillir quelques informations de base. Cela inclue votre nom hébreu ainsi que celui de vos parents. Les surnoms éventuels doivent également être indiqués car ils constituent un élément important dans le Guet (par exemple pour un"Jonathan" qui est également connu sous le nom de "John"). 


Les Dayanim lisent le document.


Les bijoux sont retirés des mains.


L'homme et la femme se mettent face à face.


Le Guet est placé dans les mains de la femme. La femme referme ses mains autour du Guet.


La femme peut être invitée à faire quelques pas vers la porte pour symboliser son appropriation du document. 


Un Sofer (scribe) écrit le contrat du Guet sur un morceau de papier et il est signé par des Eidim (témoins).


Les Dayanim confirment que le couple donne/obtient le divorce de son plein gré.


Un Dayan plie le Guet et le donne à l'homme.


Le Dayan dit les mots que l'homme doit répéter à la femme ("Voici ton Guet").


Le Dayan demande à la femme de placer le Guet sous son bras ou dans une poche pour symboliser qu'elle l'a reçu et qu'il lui appartient.


Le plus souvent, le contrat du Guet est renvoyé au Beit Din pour y être conservé et un certificat de divorce est envoyé par la poste. 


Questions fréquemment posées

Parfois, tout ne se passe pas comme prévu.
Voici quelques FAQ sur les complications possibles.

  • How long does the Get ceremony take?
    Before the ceremony the dayanim will confirm details with the couple and a sofer (scribe) will write the Get with a quill and ink. The beit din might allow the couple to take a break while the Get is being written. The Get ceremony is a standard ritual though there can be variations (like if the Get is given through a shaliach or messenger). One should allow for an hour for the ceremony (not including the writing of Get).
  • What if I can’t afford the Beit Din fees?
    As a potential litigant in a Beit Din process, you can be open about your financial limitations and ask the Beit Din how they typically handle these situations. Many Batei Din offer reduced or delayed fees or payment plans to accommodate these scenarios. In addition, reach out to resources in your area to determine if they assist in paying fees.
  • What happens if a spouse insists on waiting until matters of finance or custody are settled?
    Although this is not yet the universally accepted practice in Jewish divorce, there are significant benefits to addressing the Get early on, particularly in order to avoid concerns of the get being used as a tool to extort concessions in a divorce. Please reach out to a local resource for guidance in determining a strategy informed by your particular case and needs.
  • What if a spouse doesn’t want to give a Get?
    In the event of a spouse refusing to give a Get, you will need to formalize the process through a Beit Din experienced in navigating contentious Get cases. Please reach out to a local resource to determine an appropriate forum and make sure you are factoring in additional considerations, such as safety, civil legal processes, and more. Most of all, research your options before you sign a binding arbitration commitment (sh’tar berurin).
  • What do I do if a Beit Din doesn’t respond to my emails?
    When communicating with more Beit Din, you can ask, “When can I expect to hear an update by?” If you have not received an update when the date arrives, follow up. You can also ask what mode of communication generates a faster reply, whether it’s phone, email, WhatsApp, etc. If you are still not receiving a response, please reach out to a local resource for support.
  • What if a Beit Din allows my ex to use the Get as a tool for manipulation (ie: demanding money, possessions, or a relinquishing of rights)?
    If you have not signed a binding arbitration commitment (sh’tar berurin), you are generally free to explore an alternative Beit Din. In some cases, however, there is only one local forum, in which case shifting the case is more difficult. Please reach out to a local resource for case guidance or to help identify an appropriate forum.
  • Can I bring a female friend or advocate to support me?
    Some batei bin have a female advocate to accompany women through the Get ceremony but one should always feel welcome to bring support to the receiving of a Get, female or male. The Get ceremony is an emotional moment and having the proper support is important. One should always notify the beit din as to who is accompanying them.
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